SOS
by Dementorattack
Summary: Harry self-harms, and Snape finds out. But when his godfather dies, will he be too far gone to save? Slash! HP/DM! Mentor!Snape. Only mild Drarry (non-sexual), non-graphic self-harm (for now...) TEMPORARILY ON HIATUS I AM VERY SORRY
1. Chapter 1: Who was that?

**SOS**

**Hellur! This is my first fanfic, so be nice! Reviews will be welcomed! Disclaimer: I own none of this but the plot. Anything you recognise is J. K. Rowling's work. And what wonderful work it is.**

**Warning: This story contains self-harm and HPDM slash! Don't like it, don't read it! Some moments may be triggering. You have been warned.**

**ON WITH THE SHOW!**

SOS Chapter One: Found

Draco sat against the wall, letting Harry rest his head on his shoulder. Small sobs wracked his thin frame as he clutched to Draco, seemingly as though his life depended on it. Draco used his free arm to rub his hand through Harry's thick black hair.

The pair sat like that for five minutes, when Draco heard footsteps coming from outside in the corridor. Draco immediately became worried, as he knew they would be scolded for being out of the dorms at this time of night. But part of him didn't care. Harry was far more important.

Draco was just about to ask Harry if he wanted to go back to the Slytherin dorms, when the door swung open, revealing Professor Snape. He did not look amused.

He opened his mouth to speak, but he thought better of it when Draco held up his free hand and gave his teacher a menacing glare. Snape returned a questioning look, and Draco simply picked up the bloodied knife and showed it to the teacher.

Snape turned to leave, and mouthed 'stay here' to Draco. He strode effortlessly out the door.

"Who was that?" Harry mumbled softly into Draco's shoulder, not bothering to look up.

"Nobody, Harry. Just someone seeing who we were, that's all." Draco lied, not wanting Harry to get more worried or nervous.

The pair sat in silence again, and a few minutes later, Snape stepped through the doorway again, this time holding a small potions phial. He handed it to Draco, who read the label. In scrawny handwriting, the words 'blood replenishing potion' were written on a dirty old piece of parchment, seemingly charmed to remain attached to the phial.

Snape stepped out of the room, knowing that Harry would not want to know he was there.

Draco nudged the cold container against Harry's lips, whispering 'open up'. Harry unwillingly complied and drank down the foul tasting potion.

A few moments later, Draco could hear snoring, and guessing that Harry was asleep. He stood up and stepped outside the classroom. Professor Snape was waiting patiently, a worried look on his face.

"Draco...what happened?" Snape enquired softly.

"He...he had a nervous breakdown, sir." Draco stuttered, swallowing hard. "He ran off from the Gryffindors, I followed him here. We've been sat like that for ages,sir."

"Do you know why this happened?" Snape persisted.

"Probably another fight with that Irish brat, Finnigan. Keeps calling Harry a liar about you-know-who's return. They've had a fight before, sir. I managed to get tohim before he started cutting that time, though. Harry can't take all the pressure, and he's worried sick about his friends. Top all that off with lack of sleep and you can understand this situation." Draco explained, failing to hide a yawn.

"Are you unharmed?" Snape asked quietly, eyes darting to Draco's arm and back. Draco merely nodded. "Go back to your dormitory, I can tell you're very tired. The potion I gave him was laced with a powerful dreamless sleep potion, so he should catch up on his sleep now. Don't worry; Harry will be in safe hands with me." Snape said softly.

"Okay, goodnight Professor, thank you." Draco replied, turning back to his dormitory. "Oh, and Professor? Please don't tell the headmaster. Please. Harry would kill both of us. We both know how it feels to have someone know."

"I won't, Draco. Goodnight." Snape answered quickly, entering the room that Harry was sleeping in, still slouched against the solid wall. He picked up the now red potions knife. He used a quick cleaning spell and pocketed it, reminding himself to give it back to the boy in his next class.

How was it? Review please!


	2. Chapter 2: Healed on the Outside

**Welcome to chapter two! The other got so many views (in my eyes XD) that I decided to post this one early! Lucky you! **

**Disclaimer: I own none of this but the plot. Anything you recognise is property and creation of J. K. Rowling.**

**ENJOY!**

He looked down at Potter. Even in his sleep, the boy looked troubled. He had been through this with Draco, and the image of the blonde lying almost dead on the lavatory floor flashed back into his memory.

He quickly pushed that train of thought aside. Picking up the slumbering teen, he frowned at just how light the boy was. He looked so fragile, so broken and so vulnerable. Lily's child. Severus shook his head. _How had he let this happen to the child of the one he loved most?_

He carried the boy back to his quarters in the dingy dungeons, casting a charm to warm everything up. As soon as he entered his small but tidy lounge, the torches on the walls had flared to life, illuminating the otherwise dark room.

He gently placed Potter- _no_, Harry- onto the soft sofa in the centre of the room. He cringed slightly when he noticed the crimson blood seeping through the boy's brown jumper.

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. _Why do I always have to deal with the emotionally unstable teenagers _he thought bitterly. A small voice in the back of his mind which sounded particularly like a certain Albus Dumbledore reminded him that maybe it was for his own good. He scowled and told that voice to go away, using slightly more colourful vocabulary.

He summoned a chair from across the room and sat by Po-_no-_Harry. He also summoned two phials- one filled with pain reliever and another with some more blood replenisher.

He carefully rolled up Harry's sleeve, grimaced at how disgusting it looked, and aimed his wand. Muttering a Latin incantation softly, he healed the deep wounds and cleared up the now sticky red blood.

Not wanting to wake the boy just yet, he spelled the two potions straight into Harry's stomach, being careful not to overdose the boy on blood replenished after his earlier amount.

He sighed, checking his watch. One in the morning. He decided it was time to call it a night. Draping a soft blanket over Harry's sleeping form, he put out all the torches and the fire. The room was plunged into an icy darkness, the only sound to be heard was Harry's soft, even breathing.

Severus walked slowly through the room to a door on the other side, cursing quietly when he knocked into the side of the table. He made his way through the door, casting one last glance at Harry's form through the darkness.

Stumbling into his bedroom, he quickly undressed and slid into the soft, warm bed, falling easily into a light sleep.

**To my Guest reviewer… you'll soon see why Draco and Snape are in these roles, as opposed to, let's say… Hermione and Dumbledore.**

**Thanks for the awesome reviews! Review, as reviewers get cookies!**


	3. Chapter 3: Lost

**Hello my faithful readers! Here's chapter three! Thank you for the lovely reviews I've been getting so far! I apologise for the length of these chapters, by the way. I always cut them off where it seems right. **

_Disclaimer: Anything you recognise that has not already been claimed as mine is J. K. Rowling. The plot is mine._

**Have fun, review please!**

Severus was sleeping peacefully, when he was woken abruptly by a sharp, strangled scream. It took him a few moments to remember what could possibly be making that noise. When he remembered, however, he quickly darted out of bed, and with a flick of his wand he was dressed.

He burst through the door, casting another quick spell to illuminate the room. He immediately rushed towards Harry, who was thrashing around on the couch. The thin blanket which Snape had placed on him earlier was now tangled up in between Harry's limbs. A thin sheen of sweat coated the frail boy's face, and was now making a mark on his shirt.

Snape mentally swore, kneeling beside the boy. He pinned Harry's arms down in a vain attempt to stop the trashing, but it seemed to do exactly the opposite.

"Potter, wake up. You're safe here." He said sternly, but Harry didn't awake.

"Potter, it's me, Professor Snape. You're fine!" He spurted, a bit louder than he had intended. He was beginning to feel desperate.

"Harry! Wake up, you're safe here at Hogwarts!"

Harry's eyes suddenly flew open, and he curled into a small protective ball. He seemed to be trying to shrink away into the corner of the small couch.

"Harry? What happened?" Snape asked softly, but Harry only whimpered. Snape noticed he was shaking violently as well. Then Snape remembered that Harry hadn't been awake when he first got here, and he was probably highly confused and somewhat worried. "This is my quarters, in the dungeons. You're safe. You're safe with me." He whispered.

"Draco," Harry murmered, "can I se' Dr'co? Please, need to know he s'alright, please." He began to cry.

Severus, not really knowing what else to do with the distraught boy, quickly ran out of his quarters and through the portrait that guarded the Slytherin common room and dorms. He strode quickly up to the fifth year boys' dorms and entered quietly. Using his spy skills, he quietly moved unnoticed across the room to the farthest side, and to Draco's bed.

"Draco, wake up please." He whispered softly, gently shaking said boy's shoulders.

"Mmm…g'way. M'sleep." Draco whinged, burying his face in his pillow.

Snape decided to try another tactic. "Draco, it's Harry. He needs you." He whispered, showing a small amount of panic and urgency in his usually icy voice.

Draco seemed to become more alert at that. He sat up in his bed, eyes widening as he saw who was at his bedside.

"Harry? Oh Merlin, is he alright?" he asked hurriedly, already making a move to put on his slippers and night robe.

"He had a nightmare, Draco. He's asking for you. He said something about 'checking if you're alright." Snape explained quickly, handing Draco his wand as the pair hurriedly made their way out the room, down the stairs and back to Snape's quarters.

Draco burst into the room, but when he didn't see Harry, he looked at Snape expectantly. Snape was looking around, a highly panicked expression on his face now. Draco seemed to cotton on quickly enough, and he began to search the rooms in the quarters.

Harry was gone.

**Any good? Review please!**


	4. Chapter 4: The Gryffindors

**I'm bored of writing disclaimers now. The disclaimers in the previous chapters apply to this chapter as well. And the rest of the story. **

**I will reply to reviews at the end of this chapter. For now, though, enjoy!**

Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley sat quietly in the otherwise deserted Gryffindor common room. They were both past hiding their worry.

"Are you sure you checked all the boys' bathrooms, Ron?" Hermione asked through a yawn.

"Every one. I even checked the Slytherin ones." Ron replied wearily, shuddering at the mere thought of the cold dungeons filled with Snape's slimy snakes.

"We should tell McGonagall. I'm worried." Ron said quietly, knowing just what Harry could get up to when he was left alone.

"_Professor_ McGonagall, Ronald. And…so am I. You don't think he's done it again, do you?" Hermione voiced her thoughts timidly.

Ron sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I hope not. Although, Seamus did go pretty hard on him before. Let's just hope Malfoy's found him. If not… I don't know what we'll do." He admitted sullenly.

Then, as if a lightbulb had gone off in her head, Hermione stood up. Before you could say 'Quidditch', she ran up to the fifth year boys' dormitories, ignoring the confused shouts from Ron. Luckily, when she burst into the room, none of the slumbering teens even stirred.

She strode across to what she understood to be Harry's bed and began rummaging through his trunk.

"Hermione! What on Earth are you doing?!" Ron demanded in a shouted whisper so as not to wake the others.

"The Marauders' Map, Ron! We might be able to find Harry!" she explained in a rush, finally pulling out the large piece of parchment.

The pair made their way quickly back down the creaky stairs and into the warmly lit common room.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." She commanded loudly, pointing her wand towards the parchment.

Sure enough, the script of the Marauders' Map quickly began to spread out across the page.

"Start with the dungeons. If he's with Malfoy, they'll be there." Hermione said, unfolding the ap to show the dungeons.

After a few seconds, they saw the unmoving dot labelled 'Harry Potter'. Ron had a look of sheer relief plastered on his freckle-dotted face. Hermione, however, looked more panic stricken than before.

"Ron, he's not moving. He's either asleep, hiding or…" she trailed off, not really wanting to think about the other option.

"Check around for Malfoy." Ron requested, and Hermione was too worried to question why. They both searched the rest of the dungeons for Draco's dot, and they didn't find it in the Slytherin dorms as expected. Instead, it was rushing around an area labelled 'Professor Snape's quarters'. The two dots stopped next to each other, seemingly in conversation, and then Snape's dot began to pace.

"They might be looking for Harry. Come on, let's go down and see if we can help." Hermione said quickly, getting to her feet again and heading for the portrait.

"Are you mental?! If we're caught out of our beds at half two in the morning we'll be minced meat! What if we run into Filch or, even worse, Mrs Norris?! Think Hermione, we can't go down there alone." Ron admonished, being careful to keep his voice down to avoid stirring the others.

Hermione sighed, stopping in front of the snoozing portrait. "You're right. Go and get the invisibility cloak. I'll meet you back here."

Ron nodded, tiptoeing up the stairs quickly. He returned only moments later with the cloak bundled under his right arm, his wand in his left hand.

The pair wordlessly hid under the protection of the cloak, an action done so many times as younger children it was almost second nature by now. They slid through the portrait hole and were soon in the cold, open corridors of Hogwarts. The only light was a steady beam emanating from Ron's wand.

And so they made their way down to the dungeons, being careful to avoid any Professors by using the Marauders' Map.

"This is it, I think. You knock." Hermione whispered, taking in her surroundings once again. Ron tentatively reached out a hand and knocked gingerly on the black wooden door before them. After a few seconds, it swung forward to reveal a very worried looking potions master.

**Ooh, cliffhanger... sortof xD**

**karisaren: Your questions and hopes will be answered in the next chapter, I just had to get Hermione and Ron out of the way first.**

**Thank everybody for the lovely reviews. This chapter is dedicated to you!**


	5. Chapter 5: He's worried sick

**Disclaimer: I am making no money off this story. Anything you recognise that hasn't been labelled as mine is J. K. Rowling's. The plot is mine. So is my imagination!**

**I hope you like this chapter. It's rather longer than the others, but it gets some crucial things done. **

**ENJOY!**

Severus and Draco rushed around each room quickly, searching each place thoroughly for Harry. Severus cursed idiotic teenagers, but then reminded himself that Harry was likely under a lot of stress and probably not emotionally stable. In fact, from what he had already witnessed, he definitely wasn't emotionally stable.

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Draco ran to him in the lounge.

"I've checked everywhere, Sev. He's not here. He could be anywhere! He might have hurt himself again! He might try to…" Draco stopped rambling, fear and a painful sense of knowing evident in his eyes. "We have to find him, Sev. Who knows what he might get up to while he's alone."

Severus began to pace around the room, rubbing his temples. He could barely think straight after such a small amount of sleep.

Just when Snape was about to break his promise to Draco and floo the headmaster, there was a soft knocking at the door. Severus, thinking it might be Harry, lunged towards the door and threw it open.

There was nothing. He was about to close the door when Weasley and Granger's heads appeared from nowhere. That damned invisibility cloak.

"Is there something I can help you with, as I am rather busy for this time of morning." He snapped, revelling in the moment when Weasley and Granger both visibly flinched.

"Umm…Sir…we were wondering if you might know why Harry isn't in Gryffindor Tower." Hermione asked nervously, ready to flee at any moment if necessary. However, she didn't get the tirade she'd expected. Instead, however, Snape sighed and eyed the map she was holding.

"Why Mr Potter was not present in your little lions' den is not my information to share. Do you know where he is? He fled from my quarters about ten minutes ago." He explained tiredly.

"Sir, he's on the map. He's in an abandoned classroom. He doesn't usually want us to see him when he's upset. He'll want to be with Malfoy, but if you don't want to wake him up then we'll go and find him, but he won't want to talk to us, and-" Hermione stopped abruptly, turning slightly red as she realised she'd been rambling.

"I understand. As it so happens, Mr Malfoy is here with me right now. You are correct, Potter did ask for him. If he could borrow the Marauders' Map for the night, he could find Potter and…check on him" Snape announced, being careful about his word choice.

Despite Ron shaking his head frantically, Hermione handed Snape the map, who promptly disappeared into his quarters. Ron took the moment to question Hermione.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing, giving Snape the map?! He tried to confiscate if off of Harry in third year! He might have it off him now!" Ron snapped, shaking his finger accusingly in Hermione's face. Hermione swatted it away, looking outraged.

"Ron, would you rather Harry remain alone and keep everything bottled up, or have him talk about his problems and get better?" Not waiting for an answer, she continued, "You have to start thinking of Harry's health and wellbeing before you think of 'whether or not he'll like the fact his map is gone'."

Ron looked ashamed. Now that she told him it, it seemed so obvious.

Luckily, he was saved the trouble of having to confess he was wrong (yet again) as Draco came to the door of the dungeons. With a brief nod of acknowledgement to Ron and Hermione, he dashed down the corridors and out of sight.

"Go back to your common room and get some rest. Mr Potter is in safe hands, now. Mr Malfoy and I will take care of him." He sighed, and when Ron opened his mouth to speak, he continued, "I will put Mr Potter's health and wellbeing in front of everything, Mr Weasley. Do as I say. Goodnight." And with that, he shut the door in the gawking Gryffindor's faces.

Draco quickly navigated his way through the winding corridors of the Hogwarts dungeons, only one thing on his mind: Harry. A strong sense of dread had settled deep in his stomach. What if Harry had accidentally cut too deep? What if he'd done it on purpose?

He rounded another corner and slowed to a halt. Harry was in this corridor. The fifth room on the right, the map said. He edged quietly down the cold hallway, nervously awaiting whatever state he might find Harry in.

He found the room Harry was sat in. He swallowed, noticing his throat was dry. Slowly opening the door, he cast 'lumos' and waved his wand around the room. He spotted a small bundle in the corner, and instantly knew it was Harry.

He was sat with his legs up to his chest and his face buried in his knees. He had his arms wrapped protectively around his shins, and he was rocking slowly back and forth like a small child might do after being scolded.

"Harry, it's Draco." Draco said, gently placing a comforting hand on the smaller teen's shoulder. Harry visibly flinched and looked fearfully up to Draco with red rimmed eyes. The emerald orbs were filled with confusion and a sad sense of loneliness.

Draco immediately sat down next to his boyfriend and wrapped both his arms around Harry, a gesture that never failed to comfort the Gryffindor.

"What happened?" Draco enquired softly, rubbing Harry's back like he always did.

"I had a n-nightmare. You w-were in it. You were… you got k-killed!" Harry spluttered out between sobs, clutching to Draco's robes for dear life. "And th-then I woke up and I d-didn't know where I was, and I th-thought I'd been kidnapped by S-Snape and t-taken to Death Eaters and I was so scared!"

"Shh, Harry, it's alright. Snape was looking after you. He saw you with me yesterday and noticed that you'd been cutting, Harry." Harry's tears increased at this, and Draco felt a pang of guilt. "He's going to help you, Harry, like he helped me. He kept you last night to make sure you were alright. You cut pretty bad yesterday, remember?"

Harry stiffened, absentmindedly fingering his scars that lined his left arm. Snape knew. Snape, of all people, the Greasy-Bat-of-the-Dungeons knew.

This was hell.

"Come on, Harry. He's worried sick about you. We should go and let him know you're alright. Up." Draco said softly, tugging on the sleeve of Harry's robe. Harry unwillingly obeyed and hauled himself to his feet, hugging Draco shortly before making his way back to Snape's quarters.


	6. Chapter 6: Let him help you!

**Disclaimer: see the other chapters :)**

**Here's chapter six, thanks for the awesome reviews on all the chapters so far.**

The unlikely pair quickly made their way back through the dungeons, but Harry slowed as they approached the end of their short journey.

"I don't want to." Harry stated, sounding rather like a first year asked to scrub cauldrons. "He knows too much Draco. He's seen my nightmares. He's seen my arms." Harry explained in a whisper, so much so that Draco almost didn't hear him. Harry wrapped his arms around his own torso, a gesture Draco guessed he picked up as a child for comfort.

Harry had told Draco all about his lonely childhood- he'd told the blonde things he'd kept from even Ron and Hermione.

"Come on, Harry. I was nervous when he found out about me, but look at me now! It's for the better, I promise. Just trust me." Draco said comfortingly, taking Harry's hand in his own.

Harry intertwined his own fingers between Draco's, relishing in the warmth which the action spread throughout his otherwise freezing body.

Draco steadily walked forward, half tugging Harry along with him. He knocked loudly on the door, and squeezed Harry's hand softly, offering the now pale teen a smile. Harry could only manage a faint half smile back.

The door swung forward and Snape looked truly relieved when he saw who was there. It had been over thirty minutes since Harry had awoken.

"Come in." Snape said, though his voice lacked his usual malice.

"Mr Potter…" Snape didn't really know what to say.

"I'm sorry, sir." Harry whimpered meekly, tears gathering in the corner of his eyes.

"Potter? Whatever for?" Snape asked, genuinely perplexed.

"For waking you up and being a burden to you and for running off."

"Potter, you are no burden to me. You were already asleep, you just occupied my sofa. And… you are forgiven." He said carefully. He was baffled. Had he, Severus Snape the icy potions master, just reassured someone that they were alright? He must be ill. "Potter, whatever is going on with you, we will work through it together. You, Draco and I." Snape explained quietly, almost as surprised as Harry to hear himself use that voice.

But Harry shook his head. "I don't want help. Thanks, and everything, but I really don't want to talk about it." Harry squeezed his eyes shut to avoid any tears leaking in front of the snarky professor.

Draco squeezed Harry's hand again, his molten grey eyes giving Harry a pleading look.

"Umm...Professor, would it be ok if we talked alone for a bit?" Draco asked politely, hoping that his professor would agree.

"Very well. You have fifteen minutes. I'll be in the lab if you need me." He said shortly, giving both boys a small nod before leaving in a rush of black robes.

As soon as Snape was gone, Draco immediately began to lecture Harry, who was shivering now. Whether it was from the dungeon cold or fear neither boy knew.

"Harry, please let him help you like he helped me! Please, please, do it for me." Draco pleaded, hugging the other teen round the neck. Draco knew Harry needed help, and soon. He didn't want him to be too far gone to save.

Harry shook his head again, sniffing and wiping his runny nose on his sleeve. "I can't Draco. You know I can't talk about these things. It will just make things worse. And Snape and I aren't exactly on brilliant terms at the minute." He whispered, his eyes looking down at his lap.

Draco knew Harry, and he knew that once he said no there was no going back. He would, of course, try everything to convince Harry to change his mind, but for now he let it drop. The last thing the pair of them needed was a row, especially when Snape was so nearby.

Draco sighed and shook his head. He moved his arm from round Harry's neck and instead placed a loving hand on his shoulder. "If you're so sure, I'm not going to push you into anything. Just keep it in mind- it will always be an option. I just wish you weren't so damn stubborn!" he giggled, playfully punching Harry's upper arm.

The Slytherin stood and made his way to the entrance to his godfather's potions lab. He knocked twice on the door, and Snape appeared a few moments later. Draco simply shook his head.

**Oh, Harry, you're too stubborn for your own good!**

**Review please!**


	7. Chapter 7: Crave that hurt

**Hello my lovelies! Thank you for getting this far- I promise you we do get more of Harry's imput soon, but he was so tired and confused yesterday. Poor thing...**

**Disclaimer: I make no money from this. Nothing but the plot, the order of the words, the word choice and the plot (and anything else obvious) are mine. J. K. Rowling owns the rest. **

**DO NOT STEAL THIS STORY! Not that you'd want to, but I may as well put this out there anyways.**

**ON WITH THE SHOW!**

That night, Draco and Harry had both slept in Snape's spare room, Draco on a transfigured sofa and Harry on the bed. Draco fell asleep almost instantly after a night of panic. Harry, however, couldn't sleep at all; the day's events kept replaying in his head in a seemingly endless loop. He lay quiet and still, listening to Draco's deep, steady breathing. It was almost hypnotic to listen to, and would have put Harry to sleep ages ago if it weren't due to the current circumstances.

Harry had a strong feeling that Draco was right. He did need help; he knew one of these days he might accidentally cut too deep and be left alone for too long. He couldn't do that to Draco, not without prior warning. The mere thought made him shiver. No, he wasn't suicidal, not yet. But both he and Draco knew it was only a short amount of time before he was.

He decided he might talk to Snape, just to try it out and please his boyfriend. It might help, and if it didn't he could just steer clear of the man except in lessons. Harry knew his 'backup plan' was ludicrous, but his half asleep mind wasn't telling him that properly.

Harry hadn't realised how long he'd been listening to Draco's breathing until the boy began to stir. Sliding his glasses back onto his pale face, he checked his wrist watch. It was almost seven o'clock! He didn't know how he'd face the day ahead with such a small amount of sleep and everything he had to worry about. He just wanted to float in the nothingness he was in when he cut himself.

So he did.

Slipping silently out of bed, and doing his best not to disturb Draco, Harry slipped on his jumper which he'd thrown off last night. He tiptoed out into the small corridor outside the room and walked directly to the lounge area he'd been in earlier that morning.

He stopped in the middle of the room. What was he going to use? He was desperate for his release now, but he'd lost his potions knife. He knew Snape must have it somewhere, but where?

He thought for a few seconds, before remembering the man's words from the early morning. 'I'll be in the lab'. That meant Snape had a personal potions lab, probably stocked with thousands of sharp, glinting potions knives!

Harry sprinted quietly back down the corridor and opened the surprisingly un-warded door to his lab. He slipped inside a room which was exactly what he had expected Snape's whole quarters to look like- the walls were lined with old oak cabinets, filled with hundreds, **no**-_thousands_, of brightly coloured potions. There were three highly polished workbenches in the centre of the room and each was topped with one or two cauldrons, with simmering concoctions inside. There were drawers lining the edge of the room, no doubt filled with ingredients and equipment.

Equipment, that was what Harry needed. He cautiously strode over to the first set of drawers, and pulled hard on the handle, only to find that it wouldn't open. He tried 'alohomora', but it still didn't budge. He tried the next drawer, and the next. Nothing happened.

He was beginning to feel highly desperate.

Punching the cold stone wall in frustration, he let out a whimper as he realised how much it hurt. But Harry craved that hurt, something to take his mind off things. He flung his already reddened fist at the wall again, and Harry could feel the skin split on collision. He repeated the action, and on the fifth time he heard a sickening crunch. He collapsed to the ground, sobbing in pain. His vision began to dim, though he could faintly make out a tall dark figure looming above him…


	8. Chapter 8: You know hell all

**Disclaimer: See other chapters. You should know by now. **

**WARNING: Mentions of child abuse, rape and phobias. There is swearing in this chapter. I advise you not to read on if you're touchy on any of these subjects.**

**ENJOY!**

Severus Snape rarely slept.

However, this day was an exception. Whether it was due to all the panic and commotion of earlier in the morning or he'd gone slightly too heavy on the firewhiskey he didn't know or care. He expected it was the former.

He idly reminded himself that the wards he'd put up on the door to his potions lab would have expired at exactly midnight of yesterday. He was planning on replacing them as soon as they'd fallen, but in all the action he'd forgotten.

He was asleep within half an hour, only to be woken at quarter-past-seven by a muffled thud.

_There goes that lie in_, he thought bitterly.

He wondered sleepily where the noise could be coming from. But his half-alert mind didn't really care. It was probably just a stupid first year bouncing around excitedly on the floor above him anyway.

The thumping persisted, but stopped after about five thuds. It was replaced by a quiet sobbing that was almost inaudible.

Then he remembered just who was residing in his quarters at that moment and sprang into action, panic lining his face. He swung the door of his spare room, only to see Draco sleeping rather peacefully. But Potter's bed was empty, and that was what worried him.

Cursing insolent teenagers, he raced out of the room and into the lounge, only half expecting Potter to be there. But he wasn't.

He ran to the bathroom, but Harry wasn't in there either. He was beginning to get very, very panicked. There was only one other room left, and he certainly didn't want Harry to have access to all his potions and, worse still, the equipment.

He ran back down the small corridor, and after taking a deep breath he swung the door open. The sight that was before him was greatly disturbing, to say the least.

Harry Potter lay on the floor, curled up in a ball. He was shivering and whimpering. Snape noticed that he was clutching hand, and his fingers looked mangled- bleeding and broken. His eyes were glazed over as he fell into a merciful unconsciousness.

"Shit," breathed Snape, crouching beside the boy, who was still shaking violently. "Harry? Harry, can you hear me?" he asked softly, gently shaking his shoulder. Upon getting no response, the older wizard sighed and rolled Harry onto his back. He checked his pulse, which was thankfully normal. He uttered a quick incantation and the fingers were repaired, the blood gone.

He slid one arm under the boy's knees, one around his shoulder, and picked him up with ease. His mind flashed back to the time he'd first discovered Potter with Draco and he'd carried him back to the dungeons. It had been only yesterday night, yet it seemed like weeks ago.

He walked through to the lounge and gently placed Potter on the sofa again. This time, instead of allowing the boy to awaken due to a nightmare, he decided to wake him himself.

"Harry, wake up please." he called softly, sighing when the boy didn't shift. "Potter, up. I'm not joking, you need to get up."

Harry stirred slightly, his eyes opening a few moments later. He closed them quickly again, though, when he saw who was crouched beside him. He was in too much pain from his hand to be bothered with listening to a lecture on 'Gryffindor foolishness'.

He heard the shuffling of feet and out of nowhere, he felt something cold being pressed into his hand. He let his curiosity get the better of him, and he opened his eyes to examine the object. In his hand was a small red glass phial, one which he had seen and taken so many times before. It was a pain relieving potion.

"For your hand." Snape stated simply, nodding towards the phial.

Harry eyed the phial and Snape suspiciously. Upon uncorking the glass, he knew that it was indeed a pain relieving potion and not poison. He recognised the smell with ease.

Deciding to throw all caution into the wind, he downed the contents, grimacing at the foul taste and aftertaste which it left.

"Why?" Snape asked simply, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I needed my knife." was the quick reply. "I wanted to be numb to everything else again."

Snape sighed. He had wanted to save this conversation until at least after breakfast, but it seemed that Harry was willing to talk to him. He was going to take the opportunity while it was there. "Harry, ignoring your problems doesn't make them go away. You should know that. And injuring yourself… it isn't a healthy way to get rid of things. There are other… distractions which you can engage in."

"I can't stop though, sir. It's my thing. Everybody seems to think they know everything about me. They only know 'the boy who lived'. This is something only you and Draco actually know." Harry admitted quietly, bowing his head to avoid the eyes of the teacher.

"Harry, we can make a deal. Whenever you feel like you want to cut, you come to me in the dungeons. We will talk things through and try and resolve the issue. And if you fail to do so, I will have to tell Headmaster Dumbledore." Severus said after a few moments of thinking.

Harry's head whipped up. He couldn't tell Dumbledore, he couldn't! "Don't tell Dumbledore. Please! I don't want him to know! I don't want anyone to know!" he shouted, throwing the empty pain reliever phial at the wall for emphasis.

"Mister Potter, calm down at once! You heard the terms and conditions did you not? Proceed with the plan and the headmaster will never have to know a thing." Snape spat, cleaning up the broken glass with a simple flick of his wand. "First, though, I'm going to need to know everything that's ailing you. I don't care if it sounds stupid, I may as well know everything while we're here."

"What do you want to know?" Harry fired back venomously. "That I like to slash my arms up? That my uncle beats me senseless every night? That I'm claustrophobic because I lived in a cupboard until I was 11? That I've been used in the most gruesome manner you couldn't even imagine? You don't know hell all about me, Snape. So don't even bother trying to help me out."

Snape could only stare. Were all those things really true?

One thing was for certain: helping Harry was going to be one hell of a hard task.


	9. Message from the author

Hello everybody!

Okay, so first of all, sorry if you thought this was going to be another chapter. Also, sorry for not uploading any new chapters. If you're interested in why, then please read on. If not, then stop here- I should be uploading a new chapter later today or early tomorrow.

Okay, so I have had hell. That's basically it. First of all, my laptop got stolen. It had all the story on it, and the completed next two chapters I had worked so hard on. I still haven't got it back, and I'm guessing I never will. Then, I went through a rough patch. I've had problems like Harry's- too bad I don't have a Sev or Draco to help, eh? But I'm on the mend again, so don't worry about me. Then I got piled with extra homework from my English teacher who is convinced she wants me in a higher year class so I've been getting extra tutoring, which means more knowledge but less free time.

I'm off to go and finish writing the next chapter. Thanks for sticking with the story so far, and the reviews mean a lot to me. Even if they're only 'More chapters, please!'.

Dementorattack out! Peace!


	10. Chapter 9: Free

**I'm back, baby! I'm so sorry this has taken so long to upload. You should know that I do plan to finish this, and chapter 10 is already half way done. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except the plot, the word choice and the order in which these words are put. Other than that, it's J.K Rowling's, Warner Bros' and anyone else's who owns the Harry Potter series. You know that :)**

**Anyhow... ONWARDS WE MARCH!**

_Previously:_

_"What do you want to know?" Harry fired back venomously. "That I like to slash my arms up? That my uncle beats me senseless every night? That I'm claustrophobic because I lived in a cupboard until I was 11? That I've been used in the most gruesome manner you couldn't even imagine? You don't know hell all about me, Snape. So don't even bother trying to help me out."_

_Snape could only stare. Were all those things really true?_

_One thing was for certain: helping Harry was going to be one hell of a hard task._

**(Chapter nine)**

Not wanting to spend another second in Snape's presence, Harry stood up and stalked out the quarters, slamming the door behind him. How dare he intrude like that? The man hated him, that much had always been clear. He only wanted to know Harry's problems so he could use them against him. The entire Slytherin student body would know everything within a day.

There was so much running through Harry's head. He just wanted everything in there to shut the hell up so he could think properly. There was only one other thing other than cutting that helped him clear his mind. Flying.

He raced up to Gryffindor tower, thanking the heavens that everybody else was at breakfast. He didn't think he could cope with Ron and Hermione right now. He needed to be alone.

He grabbed his broom from under his bed, taking a moment to admire it. He really did love it. Flinging open the barred window, he mounted quickly and flew straight from the tower to the Quidditch pitch.

It was bound to be the first place Draco would look for him. But he really didn't mind, because in that moment he was free. Free from his troubles, free from the guilt which was weighing him down.

Completely and utterly free.

He swooped down low to the ground, zipping back up high into the air before he could be hurt. He tried moves from the various Quidditch books in the Hogwarts library. He sped in between the hoops, narrowly avoiding slamming into one of them.

His alone time was cut short when he saw another broom come towards him, with Draco sat atop it.

"Harry! Harry, slow down! Wait!" the blond called, chasing Harry around the pitch. Harry gave in after a while, landing on the sand below the goals. He put his broom on the ground and dropped down beside it, short of breath.

Draco landed softly and with ease a few metres away from Harry. He sprinted towards him, diving dramatically onto the floor, narrowly missing the other boy.

"Hey," Harry beamed. He felt better after flying, he always did. "I'm sorry I ran off. Needed to clear my head."

Draco nodded his understanding, gripping Harry's hand. He liked to fly to get things off his mind as well. "S'alright. Professor Snape's a bit worried, though. You really should let him help you, Harry. He helped me a great deal. I've stopped now, haven't I? You can too."

Harry didn't respond, instead fixing his eyes on the clouds above him. He did want to stop, but he didn't think he could cope without it. His knife was the one reliable thing that he had. He sighed, turning his head to look at his boyfriend. He trusted Draco, and Draco trusted Snape. So, by extension, he should too. "Draco…" he began, not entirely sure he wanted to continue. At a nod from the boy, he continued, "If I talk to Snape, do you really think it'll help? I mean, what good is talking gonna do, really? It'll just make me remember everything, even the stuff I don't want to remember." he whispered, angrily rubbing at his eyes as he felt tears gathering. He would **not** cry again, he would not.

Draco smiled; glad Harry was at least contemplating the idea. "I think it would help, Harry, I really do. Like I said, it helped me. And, if anything, he's a person you don't have to hide everything from. You won't need to pretend in front of him." he reasoned calmly, the only sign of his desperation being his eyes. He gave Harry a pleading look.

"Fine, I'll talk to him. But if he says one mean thing, or one snide remark-" Harry started, but he was cut off when he felt Draco's lips on his. He kissed back happily, enjoying the familiar warmth that spread through him.

"He won't." Draco stated simply, making a silent promise.

And, for the first time in a long while, things were looking up for the boy who lived.

**I hope this is alright. Reviews are welcomed. Thanks to those two of you who gave me your support. I promise I'm doing better now. **

**As always, reviews are welcomed. And, for this week only, reviewers get free invisible socks! **


	11. Chapter 10: May I be excused?

**Hello all! I'm back!**

**Yeah, sorry that this took so long but like I said, I'm still on the mend and relapses are a pain.**

**Anyway, here we go!**

**Sorry this is so short.**

"Come on then, Harry, we should probably have some breakfast. I usually have breakfast with Sev, you could join us if you want." Draco smiled, standing up and brushing the sand off his robes. He extended his hand, which Harry took gratefully, hauling himself to his feet.

"I dunno, Draco. Won't it be a bit awkward?" Harry asked, giving Draco a nervous smile.

"'Course not. It's just breakfast, after all." Draco replied reassuringly, setting off towards the castle. Harry quickly followed, jogging to catch up with the fast-paced boy.

The pair walked in silence down to the dungeons, naturally not talking to each other to keep up the 'we hate each other' façade. They reached the door to the dungeons, and Draco stopped before knocking. He turned to Harry, looking him directly in the eye. "Remember, he won't hurt you. Just be honest, if he asks any questions."

Harry nodded nervously, biting his lip. He didn't think he was ready to do this just yet, but he also didn't want to let Draco down. Draco seemed to sense Harry's nervousness, so he gripped his hand tightly, smiling a little.

The couple stepped forward together, and Draco knocked softly on the great oak door. He glanced at Harry, noticing that he was shaking. He gave Harry's hand a slight squeeze, and the door swung open.

"Mr Potter, Mr Malfoy, come in." Severus said, stepping to the side to let the boys in. "I'm assuming you'll be wanting breakfast, yes?"

"Yes please, Sev, if it's okay for Harry to be joining us." he jerked his head sideways, pointing out the silent teenager. Severus nodded once, motioning that they should sit down.

The three ate in silence, and Severus noted with concern that Harry had only managed half of his toast before he pushed his plate away. Harry stood up, looking a little green. "May I be excused, sir?" he whispered, closing his eyes for a few seconds and clutching the edge of the table.

"Are you feeling alright, Mr Potter?" Snape asked with concern, standing up and striding over to the teen. He raised his hand to feel Harry's forehead, but he soon stepped back when Harry flinched and squeezed his eyes shut, clearly expecting a blow.

"I will not hit you." Snape stated quietly, sounding deadly serious.

"I'm sorry, sir." Harry whimpered, shuffling backwards a little. "May I be excused?" he repeated, eyes flickering to the door and back.

"You may leave." Severus agreed with a sigh, watching with concern as Harry ran out of the door.

**Why not give that review button a hug, eh? It likes hugs. It likes hugs a lot.**


	12. Chapter 11: Ron!

**Author's note:**

**No, I'm not dead (despite popular belief). **

**I'm sorry this is so short, but things took an unexpected turn for the worse in my life and I've neglected this. I know I shouldn't, but I did. **

**Sorry.**

**Anyways, ONWARDS! :D**

_Previously:_

_"I'm sorry, sir." Harry whimpered, shuffling backwards a little. "May I be excused?" he repeated, eyes flickering to the door and back. _

_"You may leave." Severus agreed with a sigh, watching with concern as Harry ran out of the door._

Harry stumbled through the corridors, pushing past the occasional first year and nearly tripping over a stray crystal ball.

What had he been thinking? He could never eat much in the presence of his friends, so why had he thought he could possibly eat something with Snape watching over him?

He darted round a corner, sprinting into the toilets and throwing himself into the nearest separate cubical, locking the door. He slid down the wall, breathing deeply and trying desperately not to throw up. He closed his eyes, rubbing his hand across his face. He couldn't keep this up, he knew he needed help; he was practically skin and bone.

Harry heard someone enter the toilets and guessed he should probably leave. His stomach had calmed down considerably. He pushed himself off the ground, wiping his shaky hands on his shirt and taking a steadying breath.

He unlocked the door, only wanting to dart back into hiding when he realised who else was in there.

"Harry!" Ron smiled, grinning at his friend in the mirror as he washed his hands, nodding his head in acknowledgement.

"Ron!" Harry replied, forcing a smile and trying to match his friend's cheery tone.

Ron's face suddenly turned serious as he remembered everything. "Are you alright mate? Where were you yesterday? You haven't…" Ron trailed off, his eyes flicking momentarily to Harry's arm before he met his friend's gaze with a weak smile.

Harry suddenly felt very exposed. Hugging his left arm to his chest, he pushed past Ron and began washing his hands, purely to distract himself. "No," he sighed. "I didn't." He hated lying to his friend, but he also had a strong dislike for creating more drama and worry than absolutely necessary.

Ron's face relaxed a little. "Where were you, then?" he persisted, obviously not noticing how annoyed Harry was slowly becoming.

"I wanted to spend the night with Draco. And I didn't want to be anywhere near Seamus," he snapped, practically spitting Seamus' name. "Anything else?"

"Erm…n-no. I'll be going, see you in the common room at some point, yeah?" Ron spluttered, wiping his hands on his jeans to dry them off and edging towards the door slowly, closing it quietly and leaving Harry to his thoughts.

**Sorry it's so short, hopefully I'll be alright soon :)**

**Also, thanks for all the reviews! **


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